Never A Bride…The Story of Carrie DeWitt

by Terri Lynn Wilson Cox And Students

Note: Terri Lynn Cox came across this story a couple of years ago and thought it might be a good service learning project. The grave had never been marked, so Terri handmade an old-fashioned baby dress from the era for the students to raffle chances in order to raise money for a gravestone for Carrie.

Edits by Darla Bracken fridarla19@yahoo.com

Our project began with a newspaper clipping from a 1931 issue of the Amarillo Daily News regarding a woman named Carrie DeWitt whose fiancé never returned from the Civil War. We also obtained a corresponding article from the local paper, The Friona Star.

Our community is celebrating its centennial in 2006. The city of Friona, with the aid of the Friona Cemetery Association, has maintained the local cemetery very well; however, in 1995 a tornado struck the cemetery, causing a great deal of damage—destroying almost all the landscaping and fences and overturning almost all the upright tombstones, as well as destroying the newly-built gazebo. The Cemetery Association and the city of Friona have repaired most of the damage and new landscaping has been planted.

One item of concern, however, is that there are several graves that do not have markers, perhaps because at the time of death the families could not afford them or because a marker that was less permanent than stone or cement has deteriorated. The Cemetery Association is encouraging the placement of markers at these grave sites, not only as a matter of respect but also because cemeteries are one of the repositories of family and local history.

Carrie DeWitt, the woman from the newspaper clipping, is buried in an unmarked grave. As part of our project, we raffled a handmade infant dress representative of the time period in which she lived. We used the proceeds to buy a student-designed marker for her grave.

From a clipping from the Amarillo Daily News in 1931—

FRIONA WOMAN DIES AT AGE OF 88: WAITED 71 YEARS FOR

HER SOLDIER LOVER, WHO NEVER RETURNED

FRIONA, April 11—Carrie DeWitt, daughter of the old south, today had joined her Civil War Sweetheart for whom she had waited 71 years in vain.

She died here at the age of 88 after a lifelong vigil for a Confederate soldier who never came back, and was buried in the 1860 wedding dress which she never wore. With the bands playing Dixie, Miss DeWitt, then a girl of 17, kissed her sweetheart goodbye in 1860 and vowed to wait for his return. She waited 71 years until her death.

Others came back but her sweetheart did not. She turned a deaf ear to all suitors and continued to fill her hope chest until she became known as “Aunt Carrie,” a charitable old lady noted for her good deeds. A few who know her history compared her to Longfellow’s Evangeline.

She did not bore her companions with her story and her neighbors here today could not even agree upon the name of the long missing soldier sweetheart. He was supposed to have joined a unit which was incorporated in Hood’s Texas Brigade. This force suffered heavy losses at Chickamauga, Sharpsburg and Gettysburg, and was almost wiped out in the Wilderness.

Some said that it was definitely established that the soldier had been killed and that the news was kept purposely from the girl. Others said that his fate was never determined. “Aunt Carrie” held on to her hope until the last and on her deathbed asked that she be buried in the wedding dress which she had guarded for 71 years.—Amarillo Daily News

Local STAR article

This article is from the Friona Star at the time of her funeral:

Carrie DeWitt Goes to Reward Monday Morning

Miss Carrie DeWitt, age 88, died at the home of V.E. Weir Monday morning, April 6, at 8:20 o’clock, and was buried in the Friona cemetery. Wednesday afternoon at 3:00 o’clock, funearl (sic) services, with the Rev. Mr. Cummins officiating, being held from the Church of Christ. Miss DeWitt was born in Indiana and came to Friona in 1910. She is survived by the following relatives: V.C. Weir, Mrs. C.L. Lillard, Scott Weir, Worth Weir, Glenn Weir, Hereford, and H.D. Weir of Chillicothe, Ohio. Miss DeWitt, who was affectionately called “Aunt Carrie” by her numerous friends in Friona, was loved and respected by all who knew her. She was a true friend, and goes to her reward in Heaven for the true Christian life she had led, mourned by all who knew her.

Although of such cheerful disposition, romance and sorrow marked the entire life of this little old lady. Way back just before the Civil War, when she was in her young girlhood, she found the man she loved, the man she expected to marry. They were engaged and she worked industriously on her hope chest and made her wedding dress. Then, to forever cloud her life, came the Civil war (sic), where friends were overnight turned into enemies and brother fought brother. This most splendid young man to whom she had pledged herself, did as a man should do, and volunteered to fight for his country. He went away, but he never returned. What happened to him no one knew. In all probability he lay an unknown dead on an unknown battlefield, but “Aunt Carrie” loved him and she saved her wedding dress and she waited his return for approximately 70 years — until she died. Her last request was that she be buried in her wedding dress which she had saved all these years, and this was done.

Such love and such constancy enduring through the long years in honor of a promise marks the high character of Miss DeWitt, who possessed a character of such sterling quality as is attained by but few people.

—The Friona Star, April 1931

I think it is very interesting that this project was completed and that Carrie now has a gravestone marker. When I think of her, I am touched by her story: she was born in 1848 and had the dress made in 1860, but the Civil War intervened and her fiancé never came back; so she never married.

An 1860 wedding dress would have been quite an affair. A picture of one such dress was made of Victorian ivory satin. This dress had a mid-19th Century veil of Limmerick guipure lace edged with a nine inch border of floral motifs, a very fancy veil measuring 65 by 62 inches was typical of the elegant style of the era. The bridal bouquet was not yet common so the dress and the veil made the fashion statement of the day. The elegant yet simple ivory satin would have had a wide gathered skirt attached to a bodice with a laced closing. What would have told another story were the undergarments made to wear with the Victorian era wedding dress. Layers of full petticoats were worn with a crinoline hoop to achieve the full billowing skirt effect typical of the early 1860s fashion. The bride would have also worn a corset over an embroidered chemise—not exactly your everyday burial clothing in 1931, even in the year of her death. Of course the bride would have had a trousseau: a traveling gown for shopping and street wear, a party gown for visiting, luncheons and receptions, a pretty ‘at-home’ dress of pale grey cloth, an evening wrap, a satin or taffeta dress and a short cloth skirt and some thin summer frocks, a dressing jacket of silk or flannel, and lingerie monogrammed with the bride’s initials—eight of each undergarment—including night dresses, drawers, chemises, corset covers, skirts, and undershirts of silk or wool. There were also shoes, slippers, corsets, gloves, hats, an umbrella and as ‘many dozen handkerchiefs and stockings as can be afforded’. The trousseau also included the family linen: sheets, pillow and bolster cases, shams and spreads for each bead plus a coverlet of silk. Tablecloths and napkins, doilies—a dozen or so are added.

Carrie was 88 years old and had saved her dress for over 70 years. I have visited her grave and am pleased that this story reappeared in the 21st Century thanks to Mrs. Cox and her students.

For more complete information you may visit their website at http://www.wtrt.net/~terric/CDW/